According to a report by the University of Virginia National Marriage Project called “Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America,” the age at which men and women marry is now at the highest of all time —27 for women, and 29 for men.
The report revealed that Americans of all classes are postponing marriage to their late twenties and thirties for two main reasons, one economic and the other cultural.
Ninety-one percent of young adults believe that they must be completely financially independent to be ready for marriage.
Yet, there is an increasing number of working professionals who despite having some sort of financial stability, they have abandoned the hope of ever settling down with that special person.
Helen Chen is a marital expert and bestselling author, whose recent book “Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar” became a bestseller in marriage and relationship books on Barnes and Noble, has a first-hand experience with men and women who have less than good luck in marriage.
“Somewhere along the line in the last two decades, dating time has increased tremendously and marriage becomes less important.” said Chen. “Most people think that a marriage is something that will automatically happen with the right person once they have career achievements and once they have financial stability. This is so far from the truth. This is not how it was when our grandparents got married — many of them in fact married with very little to their name.”
Chen talks about why modern dating is not working out, “Most people think there are always a better person out there. So they would spend 3-4 years dating, then break up, then spend another 3-4 years with someone else whom they think is better and break up again. 10-15 years later, they accumulate only bitter experiences.”
About the notion that it is better to wait to have more money before embarking onto marriage, Chen explained, “Family math is different. One plus one is always more than two. When you marry and then work together and produce together, you can create more economic stability.”
Chen has also seen countless marriages end up in divorce despite both husbands and wives being tremendously outstanding in their careers and being touted as the “perfect” couple.
“Making a relationship last is not about luck or having financial success or career success. It is an ability that needs to be learned, no different than learning about one’s profession.” said Chen.
