Sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman, author of several books including “Real Sex for Real Women” believes that bad sex is such an epidemic because people are “simply ignorant of their bodies and how sexual response really works.”
The sex expert and host of online webinar Mind-Blowing Love says that the most common problematic sex myths include:
- Men think about sex every 7 seconds. “No way!” says Dr. Berman. “Sure, some men think about sex a lot (as do some women), but it is time we stop spreading the message that men are always in the mood and raring to go. They have ‘off’ days just like anyone else when they are not in the mood for sex.”
- Sex gets boring as you age. “Nope,” says Dr. Berman. “In fact, research shows that most people report their sex lives actually improve as they get older. This is probably because they are more comfortable in their bodies, less inhibited, and unafraid to ask for what they want. So menopause is far from the end of your sexual pleasure, it could be just the beginning.”
- Women want an emotional connection. “Again, some women do crave emotional intimacy, just like some men do,” says Dr. Berman. “Casual sex often isn’t as pleasurable for women (as it tends to take more time and effort, as well as a invested partner, for a woman to reach orgasm), but that doesn’t mean that women don’t enjoy ‘hooking up’ at times.”
- Size matters. “Not really. No matter the size of your penis, sexual satisfaction comes down to how giving, present, and passionate of a lover you are. Few women reach orgasm from simple intercourse anyway, so things like foreplay, oral sex, manual stimulation, sex toys, etc. can all make you a awesome lover, regardless of your size.”
- Great sex just happens. “This is such a pervasive myth that can really do great damage,” says Dr. Berman. “People think that if they have to ‘work’ at their sex life than it meets that their passion is dead or not that any sexual pleasure they achieve is not authentic if it requires effort. That’s just untrue. Like all things worthwhile in this world, it takes work to keep a sex life hot and passionate over the years. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of—just the opposite, you should be proud of being such an invested and committed partner.”
